久しぶりだね、

なんか、いろいろなことがあって、書く時間がない、ごめんね。

I am getting more and more busy. But this semester for me is going really well, so I have not much to complain. I started taking the Tea Ceremony class and at the same time join Tea Ceremony club, that is why I end up having no time for studying at all. Sorry Mama, papa. And because of what I learned, this time, I will not let myself to atached to the club. Just for fun. This time I will not love either the club or ot members so much as I dowith Yosshakoi, that way I won't get hurt again.

If u ask me 2 months ago, how long will you saty in yosshakoi? I would say "forever". But now, I am asking myself "how much longer would I be able to stay there?" I have the feeling that the longer I stay, the faster all those good memories drift away. Will there be a day when I no longer feel anything for it at all? should I just quit right now to keep everything as it is? What is it that I am holding on to?

This may be the first time I experienced "hatred". I have naver hate a person that much in my life. I hate her so much that I feel like exploding just hearing her voice and yet we meet and smile to each other every day. I hate her so much that I turn myself into some nasty thing. I even hate myself for lettting such though contaminate my mind. Hatred only brings forth hatred. that is why I am trying not yo care about her anymore. I can not let myself blacken by my hatred toward her. Yet it is very hard. But i will have to learn to let it go, or I would never feel relief again. Ther are so many things to love, so save your heart for them, don't waste it on hating someone. It is not worth it.

Ran.